Old Skool' Game Ratings

Starfox for the SNES

Ah Yes Starfox, This game is already set in Video Gaming History it was one of the first to use 3D polygons, thoughout almost the whole game. Here is my Review on Starfox for the SNES

First thing when you turn it on is a very omnious sound followed by a few ships being shot at by a giant ship going overhead(Star Wars, anyone?) which eventually shows that its an Attack Carrier and come towards you and fires…..Title Screen: You see STARFOX above the whole team with a spinning Arwing(their ships) behind them. You Press Start and It lets you try the controls schemes(I love that) and then you can choose to go Training or to the Game. The training consists of you flying though hoops and shooting cones. Then the real game comes up. It shows you three routes you can choose, those are difficulties top route is medium, middle is Easy and Bottom is Hard, you always start at Corneria. When it puts you out in the world of starfox it gives you the single laser which if you do certain things can be doubled(and MUCH more effective). You shoot enimies and try not to get killed till the end where a boss comes up(you actually hear some english finally saying ‘Incoming Enemy”) where a new song starts and you battle it until you somehow defeat it, it totals up your score by how many kills you got and you blast off to the next level where you might have to dodge things, or kill GIGANTIC enemies! There are a variety of “Generic Enemies” as I call them. Only difference is what they shoot, some shoot the diamond looking lasers, some shoot little donut looking things at you, and some just simply ram into you(I hate those). The easy route is almost too Easy, The medium is alright and The Hard is actually pretty damn hard.

Because I don’t want to explain EVERY level i’m gonna just review it as a whole. The Controls are god-like. They’re easy to use and you can aim pretty damn good, and Barrell rolling is easy. The Enemies are pretty generic you shoot them, they shoot you they blow up, its the bosses that are awesome each one has a trick to defeating it, Like The Dancing Insector(big ass spider) you shoot its legs out, then you can go for the body. The bosses are one things that make this game great. The soundtrack…Oh my this is one of the best soundtracks ever, especially for an SNES game, I love this soundtrack to death. Gameplay even though its almsot the same thing everytime you’re always entertained somehow like Sector Y its has sticky things you have to Barrell Roll off. The end is epic you fight a full fledged Polygonal faced Andross, and he looks nothing like he does in 64.

This game is really great. I really think you all should Play it

Bottom Line: Great game. Period.

I give Starfox for the SNES a 4.5 out of 5.

FYI

These are the abbreviations I’ll be using

SNES-Super Nintendo Entertainment System

NES-Nintendo Entertainment System

N64-Nintendo 64

PS1-Playstation 1

A2600-Atari 2600*

A7800-Atari 7800*

A5200-Atari 5200*

*During the review I might just call it by the numbers.

ET, The Game

Alot of you might’ve heard of this game before. I somehow managed to get a copy of this game, a working Atari with the Joystick controller, so here is my review of this game:

Its quite simple really I never want to play this game again, EVER.

First thing you see when you switch it on is ET’s head with what seems to be the ET theme song….its an Atari, so I excused the horrible sounds.I clicked the button and went on to the first screen where you get ET, on a Spaceship I suppose and it drops you off. Yep. Thats it. so I decide to explore a little(VERY SLOWLY) and notice a darker spot of the screen and go towards it. I fell down. Into a hole. I wonder how to get out of this hole, I move the joystick everyway possible, then I press one of the buttons and I started levitating, I was thinking ALRIGHT this game is getting better! (boy do I wish I was right) I make my way out of the hole…and fall straight…back…in the same hole. I did this for at least 10 min and finally made my way out, by this time I was ready to turn it off but didn’t for reviewing sake. I go to the next screen and Behold! More dark spots and a TINY little Black Dot, I go over to the dot and now it has the number “1” at the bottom, I wonder what its for, give up on trying and continue, I found some more Black Dots and the Number eventually became 2…3. ..and so on. After Collecting as many dots as I could I ran into a man in an over-coat who grabbed me and took all my “dots” away and put me in a different screen, that son-of-a-bitch. I go looking for my “Dots” again and fall into a hole, turn off the atari and throw the cartridge against the wall, chipping the edge of the game.

I did some research: Apparently to win the game you have to look for Pieces of a Phone so you can “Phone Home”. Guess how you find those pieces? You look in every…single…hole, yes those ones that took me 10 min to get out and there was easily 20+. Those “Dots” I was collecting were “Reese’s Pieces” and if you get them all apparently that one kid comes and gives you a piece of the phone, Makes sense? Right?…Anyone?

I give this game a 0 out of 5, I even considered a negative number.

Welcome

I have made this blog so I can show some people some games that they have never played, I try to stick with older games, uness theres a game that recently comes out that I MUST review, thank you.

Here is a breakdown of my rating system

0-Don’t ever even consider playing this game, even if you are given it, not worth ANYONE’s time

1-Bad game, Don’t Bother Playing it, unless you want to see a bad game.

2-Not that Great, but isn’t the worst game ever.

3-Ok Game, maybe worth a play

4-Good game worth a Play to see if you like it, you should try these.

5-Orgasmic, not kidding YOU MUST PLAY THIS GAME!

NOTE-Sometimes I might feel like reviewing a whole Console, I will tell youw hat the numbers mean with the review.